The Human Experience as Seen Through the Eyes of a Mere Mortal

In the Wake of Tragedy

In the wake of tragedy, when the community needs to come together the most, is when it falls apart, time and time again. I’ve seen it happen after mass shootings (which seem to be almost daily in the States now), after devastating natural disasters, bombings abroad, car accidents, and really anything where something unimaginably terrible happens. Sometimes these horrible things happen at the hands of some unwell people or tough circumstances and sometimes, well, accidents just happen.

I think the number one issue, is that people do not know how to grieve. It is so much easier to be angry. It hurts less. We want answers and a source of the disaster so that we can put all of our blame and anger there so that we don’t have to deal with the pain and effort it takes to carry it with us. If that source has a face, even better. 

“You. It was you. It was your fault and now you must suffer the way that I have.”

But, what have we forgotten? That as soon as our scapegoat has a face, we have to take into consideration the lives of this person/these people, because really, unintentionally or not, it is possible to destroy them whether it be emotionally, professionally, or financially.

Now we have a face and a name to blame. A person. People. We are putting blame on living, breathing souls, just like our own without considering their lives, their pain, their suffering. Although in some extreme cases, there is a psychopath who intentionally caused hurt, most times accidents just happen. They are awful, they are painful, there is not always a concrete answer and nothing in these situations is uncomplicated.

Recently, in my community, there was a terrible rafting accident. Four tourists died as well as a guide. The guide’s name was Kevin. Say it. Stop dehumanizing him. His name was Kevin Thompson. His life and his family suffered from this accident too, but somehow they got forgotten or lost in the shuffle by the expat and foreign communities. There was no GoFund me set up for their loss, no foreign outpouring of support . . . Just pain and an empty void in the lives of those who knew Kevin, his optimistic personality, and his infectious smile.  

Did someone risk the lives of those involved on purpose? Certainly not. Were there various companies going out days before and days after (or even have intentions to go the same day as well)? Absolutely. However, in order to protect the guides and companies from scrutiny and more pain than they have already endured with the loss of their friend, threat to their livelihood, and mountains of false information, I will not stray from my points here.

What is an adventure or extreme sport? It is a sport that comes with great risks for the thrill of the adrenaline rush. All adventure companies are very clear that there are risks. The loss of limbs or life are included in those risks and are very clearly expressed in the waivers. Is it unlikely? Yes. Does it happen? Unfortunately. 

We, by human nature, tend to assume that everyone follows the same rules and laws that we do which couldn’t be farther from the truth. We also tend to assume that our own way of life is the best, because really, it is all that we know. However, rules and laws change as culture changes. Laws that make sense in one country don’t in another. The idea of suing everyone for accidents and disasters is really a US concept. Other nations live with disasters every day and it is not because of lack of safety and concern, it is because environmental conditions are not the same everywhere. In fact, that is the very reason people travel!

That means, when traveling, many of us put our faith in the locals in order to help us navigate various situations. Who knows the land, streets, laws, in and outs and (especially in Costa Rica) the natural world better than the locals? 

Costa Rica has some of the most incredible mountains, rivers, oceans, beaches, and wildlife in the world. In fact, the biodiversity here per square kilometer is unmatchable. With this breathtaking scenery comes the perils of nature: bug bites and stings, landslides, downpours, floods, raging rivers, destruction of homes and stores, and the rebuilding of life that comes after. It is a way of life here. People are connected to nature, not apart from it. 

Guides here have spent their whole lives in the rivers, mountains, and parks learning the beauty and dangers of the natural world, training for a trade, and enjoying the gifts of every day. Does a piece of paper change their knowledge and experience? No, it does not. And some guides who have licenses don’t actually have the years of experience of another guide (who perhaps did not have the financial resources to acquire a certification). 

Have you ever been in a car accident? I bet your answer is yes, big or small. All of that training and that license did not protect you from an accident. Sometimes it is user error and sometimes it is being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Either way, it is a pure accident.   

Focusing on this situation, please be aware that the families, friends, and colleagues are suffering. ALL of the families of the deceased. So I ask of you, when you leave comments on social media, really think about what you are saying and the impact of those words. I’ve noticed that most of the people who are commenting do not fully understand the events of that day, the nature of the river, nor the force of the natural world of this incredible country. 

Here is a guideline of some things to keep in mind:

• If you are grieving and you are not sure how to cope, the best advice I have ever gotten came from Mr. Rogers: “Look for the helpers, always look for the helpers.” In recent years I’ve lost track of how many times I have had to tell myself this. 
• During this particular tragedy, there were many helpers. Thank you to the emergency professionals who worked on the rescue mission.
• In addition, I would love to give a huge thank you to the local guides, who stopped whatever they were doing to rush to the scene. When the emergency professionals called off the search for the night, the guides waded tirelessly, shivering through the river along the shore, tired and hungry without complaint. They knew that nobody knows their land and rivers better than they do. They pooled their own money together to buy searchlights and supplies and did not stop until they completed the mission, nearing midnight. Imagine their fear and sorrow throughout the highs and lows of the day, especially once they found the missing pieces.
• To those of you who were not there or are not directly connected to the incident, I beg of you, please stop acting as though you have all of the answers on social media. It damages our communities, threatens the livelihood of this beautiful community, and brings so much pain to those who have been suffering more than you can imagine. What you hear on social media and even on the news is not always as factual as it could be. Wade through all of the information first and if you seek answers, go to the proper resources. Before you post, ask yourselves, is what I am saying appropriate, kind, and productive. If not, there is no need to say it.
• Many within the expat and foreign community are saying that this accident occurred because of greed. Let’s talk about this for a minute. Those of you who are saying that are also coming from a place of privilege. There is a huge difference between wanting to eat, to pay rent, and have the ability to cover the bus fare to be able to get to and from work and/or training. The strike hit our community, tourism, and our guides especially hard, proceeded then by the low season. Yet, never would any guide intentionally put someone’s life in danger for money, especially for the low wages they get to do a tour compared to the people claiming greed.
• If someone makes a powerful post of strength and is trying to move forward as a community, why use it as an opportunity to change the tone to make it awful, to criticize, or to bring down those already there? There is enough death and despair in this world. Let our community heal and at this point, if you can’t be a healer at least be silent and respectful to those trying to.
• Want to help even further? These guides are about to take yet another course. They will be in the mountains for a week to train. They have to pay $100 to take the course and then $20 a day for a week for supplies. That is around a month’s worth of rent for many of our guides plus the money they are losing by not working for a week. So, if you really want to help, go to your local guides and tour companies, donate a few dollars and help our community heal.

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